Masculinity as Confident Competence

Key Takeaways

Masculinity is defined by confident competence and the ability to effectively accomplish tasks.
Intentionality, discipline, and consistent practice of small tasks are foundational to personal transformation and skill development.
Cultivating practical skills, from introducing oneself to delivering a eulogy, builds confidence and purpose in men.
Adaptability and the ability to improvise are crucial for navigating unforeseen challenges and living a fulfilling life.
Joy stems from agency and the capacity to achieve goals, requiring continuous pursuit of new objectives and consistent practice.

Elliot Ackerman, a decorated Marine and former CIA paramilitary officer, joined the military to serve America and seek high-stakes work where competence was paramount.
His military service included receiving a Silver Star and Bronze Star, highlighting his distinguished career.
Ackerman transitioned from military and intelligence roles to fiction writing, opting against a memoir to explore broader themes through novels.
His novels frequently incorporate themes of conflict, marriage, brotherhood, and politics, often drawing from his military background.

Elliot Ackerman's column at The Free Press, 'A Man Should Know,' originated from a conversation about a suit gifted by his father.
The column focuses on practical, often overlooked skills and knowledge essential for a man's competence and life journey.
It emphasizes the importance of intentionality and purpose in acquiring skills that contribute to a man's sense of self and ability to navigate the world.

A cultural trend suggests young men may lack essential life skills due to insufficient intentional guidance, reducing confidence and purpose.
Treating young men as capable individuals, as seen in the Marine Corps, fosters confidence and encourages responsibility.
Ackerman's own transformation into a Marine involved setting fitness goals with his father, leading to a daily workout routine and gradual strength building.
Personal transformation results from consistent daily practice of small tasks; excellence is a habit formed by stringing these actions together, directly translating to his writing career.

Elliot Ackerman developed empathy as a crucial skill during his career at the CIA, defining it as understanding others' perspectives without necessarily agreeing.
This understanding was vital for comprehending adversaries in intelligence work.
In his writing, empathy is essential for developing complex and relatable characters.
The skill of empathy is presented as highly transferable, benefiting pursuits in business and other life areas.

Elliot Ackerman's 'A Man Should Know' columns address practical skills, some seemingly minor, such as how to wear a watch or introduce oneself.
These skills contribute to a man's overall competence and confidence, creating a positive, cumulative effect.
The guest discussed the value of meaningful possessions like his Rolex watch, purchased with combat pay, as items that can be passed down and gain significance over time, contrasting modern disposable culture.

Friendship is described as a skill requiring intentionality and shared activities, often done 'shoulder to shoulder' rather than face-to-face.
Examples of such activities include running, fishing, or playing squash.
Maintaining friendships intentionally is critical, especially with new acquaintances, to build strong bonds in adulthood.
Active participation in social activities like Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or a bagpipe band is emphasized for sustaining adult friendships.

Improvisation is defined as the ability to pivot, reinvent oneself, and move in new directions when circumstances change, linking it to imagination and strategic thinking.
Reading is suggested as a method to develop imagination, a component of improvisation.
Drawing from military experience, 'brilliance in the basics' and repetition are the foundation for improvisation, enabling adaptation in complex situations.
This mirrors jazz musicians who hone scales to facilitate improvisation, a highly valued trait in cultures like Crete.

Intentionally engaging in something challenging daily helps practice overcoming fear and builds resilience for future crises.
Men must be intentional and proactive in skill development, as consistent effort in mastering small tasks leads to progress towards larger goals and a fulfilling life.
Ackerman connects joy to Nietzsche's concept of increasing power, defining power as agency and the capacity to accomplish tasks.
He dedicates daily time to professional and personal pursuits, emphasizing consistent practice of one's craft and relationships for happiness, and practices intentional parenting by teaching children skills.