How to Stay In Love: Mandy Patinkin & Kathryn Grody

Key Takeaways

Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody discuss sustaining their 45-year marriage through differing habits and ongoing debates.
Kathryn Grody champions a dignified perspective on aging, challenging societal norms through her one-woman show.
The couple and hosts explore the importance of quiet, managing perceptions of time, and active listening in conversations.
They advocate for humanitarian action, using their platforms to address global conflicts and call for peace.
The guests reflect on balancing personal connections in a digital world and the enduring power of human spirit and belief.

Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody discuss how their Judaism informs their activism, particularly their stance against the genocide in Palestine.
Kathryn Grody explains her upbringing within a Jewish tradition that emphasizes social justice and civic responsibility.
She cites the Yiddish phrase 'Tikkun Olam' (to repair the world) and the 'starfish story' analogy as foundational principles for individual action against injustice.
Grody expresses pain over the misuse of the term 'anti-Semitism' to justify violence and criticizes the 'othering' of people.

Kathryn Grody's one-woman show, "The Unexpected Third, a Radical Rollicking Rumination on the Optimism of Staying Alive," challenges societal views on aging for women.
Grody advocates for the term "elder" over "seniors," emphasizing dignity and a natural process.
The play runs at the People's Light Playhouse in Malvern, Pennsylvania, from September 17th to October 26th.
A young woman, Mariah, found inspiration in Grody's play, feeling it countered societal pressures to achieve milestones by age 35.

Mandy Patinkin retires around 1 a.m., while Kathryn Grody goes to bed at 8 p.m., leading to differing routines.
During these hours, Grody contacts friends in other time zones and sorts newspapers for collages, despite Patinkin's tendency to discard them.
A recurring marital debate centers on whether Patinkin discarded Grody's collection of John Leonard columns, which Grody insists he did.

The guests and hosts discuss that love is not a finish line but an ongoing practice requiring continuous choice and action.
They emphasize supporting a partner's individuality as crucial for sustaining a relationship.
Daily acts of service are presented as examples of contributing to a shared life and partnership.

Mandy Patinkin observes Kathryn Grody's "hysteria about time," noting her tendency to consume too much information due to a fear of time passing.
Patinkin expresses a wish for Grody to feel less rushed and appreciate quiet moments.
He suggests that filling every silence in conversation is unnecessary, encouraging introverts to allow for quiet pauses.

Kathryn Grody discusses her discomfort with silence and tendency to fill quiet spaces, often stemming from concern about others' discomfort.
Glennon Doyle identifies a similar marital dynamic with Abby Wambach, emphasizing the importance of creating space for quieter individuals.
Grody mentions she is actively working on leaving more space for others to speak in conversations.

Kathryn Grody expresses a preference for in-person interactions over digital connections.
Mandy Patinkin admits to discomfort meeting new people directly.
The speakers reflect on the ease of ending virtual conversations compared to in-person ones, noting virtual interactions often feel less personal and safer.
A desire for more authentic, non-monetized, and non-content-driven interactions is expressed.

The discussion explores the human desire to make impermanent things feel permanent, exemplified by Kathryn's thought of tattooing children's names.
Mandy Patinkin finds meaning in a wishing well, inspired by the movie 'Heaven Can Wait,' as a place to connect with loved ones.
He maintains a practice of saying the names of people in need during prayers and meditations, believing that energy, like sound and light, never truly dies.

The hosts express gratitude to Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody for speaking out about the conflict in Gaza and Palestine.
Patinkin issues a personal plea for the violence and killing to stop, acknowledging atrocities on both sides.
He criticizes leaders who perpetuate hatred and argues that focusing on past grievances prevents forward progress towards peace.

Kathryn Grody suggests women might be better suited to lead the world due to genetic nurturing tendencies and a greater capacity for compromise.
She contrasts this with the drive for power and control often seen in male leadership.
Grody reflects on personal experiences during the Vietnam War era, highlighting disillusionment with perceived American exceptionalism.